venice
i’ve been a midwife for over 15 years now. i’ve delivered lots of babies. babies in the summer, babies in the winter, babies in the fall, babies in the spring. in the middle of the night, as the sun rose , as the sun set. huge babies, tiny babies, early babies, late babies, twins. babies to families who cried with joy, babies who went directly to foster care.
i have a series of log books where i record the information about each birth. name of the mother, date of the birth, complications, sex of the baby, weight. after helping well over a thousand new souls into the world, there are a few births i will never forget, log book or no logbook.
a couple of weeks ago when i came on to work, there was a young woman in labor with her first baby that i took over care for. she had recently emigrated here from the Philippines and though she looked 16, she was really in her 30’s. her situation was unusual in that we knew her baby had a cleft lip and likely a cleft palate. she and her husband wore a blanket of sadness knowing this. there was a palpable sense of it in the room as the labor progressed. they knew they were having a daughter and had chosen a name for her- venice. when i asked the mother, she said it was because it was the prettiest place she had ever heard of.
when the tiny baby emerged , her little face was all eyes. open, alert and looking at everyone. for me it was hard to look at the cleft- even expecting it. the first look at the gap with its thrusting tongue was shocking. but in a moment i forgot all about it, entranced with her perfect skin, her dark hair , her old-soul eyes. venice was lovely, but she was imperfect. watching her mom seeing her for the first time, i could tell that she was hoping against hope that medical science would be wrong and the cleft would not be there. her face was a mix of joy and sorrow, fear and acceptance.
they had a plan for venice, had met with the cleft team before her birth. in a few months after her first surgery to repair her lip, Venice's looks will change and and the gap will be a thin white line. in a year or so no one will remember what the gap looked like.
as i watched her, i couldn’t help thinking about all the tiny babies born imperfectly in china, where understanding and tolerance for such things is limited. if venice had been born in hunan or fujian, it is likely that she would have been abandoned within hours or certainly days of her birth. families do not have the resources to address the medical issues of such kids and the system is not set up to support them in getting care. the lucky ones make it to an orphanage and survive to be adopted. according to china, most infant abandonment's these days are special needs babies.
tonight i kissed the sweaty cheeks of my own two perfect yet imperfect kids and thought about venice, and her cohorts in china.
i have a series of log books where i record the information about each birth. name of the mother, date of the birth, complications, sex of the baby, weight. after helping well over a thousand new souls into the world, there are a few births i will never forget, log book or no logbook.
a couple of weeks ago when i came on to work, there was a young woman in labor with her first baby that i took over care for. she had recently emigrated here from the Philippines and though she looked 16, she was really in her 30’s. her situation was unusual in that we knew her baby had a cleft lip and likely a cleft palate. she and her husband wore a blanket of sadness knowing this. there was a palpable sense of it in the room as the labor progressed. they knew they were having a daughter and had chosen a name for her- venice. when i asked the mother, she said it was because it was the prettiest place she had ever heard of.
when the tiny baby emerged , her little face was all eyes. open, alert and looking at everyone. for me it was hard to look at the cleft- even expecting it. the first look at the gap with its thrusting tongue was shocking. but in a moment i forgot all about it, entranced with her perfect skin, her dark hair , her old-soul eyes. venice was lovely, but she was imperfect. watching her mom seeing her for the first time, i could tell that she was hoping against hope that medical science would be wrong and the cleft would not be there. her face was a mix of joy and sorrow, fear and acceptance.
they had a plan for venice, had met with the cleft team before her birth. in a few months after her first surgery to repair her lip, Venice's looks will change and and the gap will be a thin white line. in a year or so no one will remember what the gap looked like.
as i watched her, i couldn’t help thinking about all the tiny babies born imperfectly in china, where understanding and tolerance for such things is limited. if venice had been born in hunan or fujian, it is likely that she would have been abandoned within hours or certainly days of her birth. families do not have the resources to address the medical issues of such kids and the system is not set up to support them in getting care. the lucky ones make it to an orphanage and survive to be adopted. according to china, most infant abandonment's these days are special needs babies.
tonight i kissed the sweaty cheeks of my own two perfect yet imperfect kids and thought about venice, and her cohorts in china.
posted by chris at
8:45 PM
1 Comments:
Thanks for the story- gives us all a lot to think about. wishing and hoping China will allow singles to pursue special needs children in China again before too long...Venice is a lucky little girl to be born to her parents and to be born to a place with such vast resources to help her...
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