five years

five years ago this week i was on my way to china to adopt ruby. i was looking at mounds of baby clothes, diapers and bottles. piles of my personal stuff, pages of questions printed off the internet to ask ruby’s orphanage, a stack of cliff bars, a bunch of chocolate. it was still in the days of shooting film so i had 20 rolls of slide film, my camera, a flashlight and a bunch of other stuff i can hardly remember.

my airplane ticket to bejing topped the pile , right next to the coffee. i knew getting on that plane would change my life. i was 41, a career girl without much of a personal life. i worked a lot and had a dog and a nice circle of friends. but something was deeply missing. i wanted my life to change. deciding that i wanted to parent took many in my life by surprise. i could see the doubt in their faces each time they asked me during the long wait “if i still was going to adopt a baby”. i could also see the support when i got my referral.

on the day i got on that flight to los angeles, then to guangzhou, and ultimately bejing and changsha, i took the leap of faith that my new life would be a more fulfilling and adventurous one. that i was leaving the world as i knew it behind me, like an island fading in the distance.

i was right. i have a completely different life. i have had more surprises in these years than i thought i would. i have had more fun in these years than i imagined. i have also had my share of moments of frustration(- how long does it really take to put your shoes on? can you please finish brushing your teeth so we can go.) but i wouldn’t trade to have that old life back for anything. so this week i celebrate five years of a new life.