the hard cold reality

I've always been a person who has pretty sound judgement.when i make a mistake i can recognize it and extract myself and move on without too much guilt. now that i have ruby and hazel to safeguard, decisions that i make have to have them at the center, and when i have to un do something its more complicated.

ruby has been missing having a dog, and i was right along with her. i diligantly searched until we found what seemed to be a good dog for us. along the way , i collected as much info about her as i could, piecing together what seemed like a background that would be compatible with kids and for us. when i went to pick her up, a few red flags surfaced- tunrsn our though she was very sweet and gentle, she hadn't really ever been a family pet, she'e been a barn dog mostly. she wasn't completely housebroken. she didn't know basic commands.

but we had commited to her and ruby was so excited i couldn't back out at the last minute. all the way home in the car, my intuition was saying "this isn't right ". i knew within an hour at home that she wasn't going to fit for us. she just didn't have the basic social skills and understanding of people . she had been a dog dog , accustomed to life with other dogs.

it also became clear to me very fast, that with a 19 month old, i really am not ready for a new dog right now. hazel has no dog savvy and i was afraid of a dog toddler mishap while i had my back turned. it might have been different if "anna" had been a people dog and not a dog dog.

so sadly, i called her owner this morning and made arrangements for her to go back to the dog farm in bend. in the meantime, i have boarded her at a kennel to minumize the impact on me and the girls. i know that someday we will have another golden, but it has to be the right one for us and the timing has to be better.